Nominated by Viola Jaynes at Spiritual Things Matter, our January 1, 2009, Winner

Sandy Carlson

Ironically, I had already selected Sandy Carlson to be the next recipient of the Post of the Day Award when I received an email from Viola Jaynes nominating her. Viola wrote: “She has some incredible poetry and writings. I have so often been blessed by her gift to the blogsphere.” Indeed, like Viola, Sandy could receive this recognition for virtually any of her thoughtful writings. But in particular, both Viola and I picked Sandy’s December 30, 2008, entry, Kill Yourself and I’ll Feel Bad.

Be forewarned that it is not easy reading, and you will find yourself thinking about the post long after you have read it . . . several times, at least. Sandy responded to the Christmas Eve 2008 suicide of Suzanne Horne, a popular blogger who wrote Liquid Illuzion. As her readers have noted, it is a “brave post” expressing “intense feelings on this subject.” Indeed, the comments are as thought-provoking and, in some instances, disturbing as the post itself.

Suzanne Horne (1966-2008)

Sandy opines that suicide is a “group project,” something most of us hate because we “pride ourselves on our individuality, independent thinking, and self-reliance. We make our own decisions; we hold ourselves responsible.” Taking one’s own life is, according to Sandy, “the careless and cruel act, word, and gesture of one person after another heaped onto a vulnerable soul that is keenly aware of the weight.” But Sandy challenges her readers to turn away from the standard hand-wringing, postulating, and, ultimately, callousness that follows such a tragic ending to the life of someone as talented, inspirational, and loved as Suzanne. She challenges her readers to consider anew our interconnectedness and dependence upon each other. Stubborn, prideful Americans generally reject group projects.

Group projects in a culture that prides itself on thriving on competition seem ridiculous. Yet they get to the truth we in our independent glory hate to admit: that we depend on each other, that our survival depends on cooperation and meaningful interaction, that we live or die by the love we make. Or don’t.

Ultimately, whether or not you agree with Sandy’s main thesis is irrelevant. She has courageously broached a subject around which most people only dare tiptoe. Instead of hiding from the wound, she has opened it wider, examined it, questioned its origin and, ultimately, challenged her readers to do the same. In so doing, she has brought awareness to the most difficult of all subjects and, because she has challenged readers to think about it from a unique perspective, might save a life . . . or a few.

Technorati Tags: Liquid Illuzion, Post of the Day Award, The Rising Blogger, Writing in Faith

As I write, I desire that those who have experienced pain will find some comfort and peace. The words which I write come from my heart, birthed from my own brokenness and a continued longing to find greater spiritual awareness. I want to embrace all people and therefore I will not limit my writing here to any religious beliefs or quotations of scriptures. That is a journey each will have to make for themselves. I simply want to share that in and through pain, a full life is still possible. It has been for me.”

She writes beautiful poetry that will haunt you, invading your thoughts long after you read it. Her prose is equally brilliant in its simplicity, and open but uncontrived emotionality.

There isn’t a writer in the blogosphere who is more deserving of the first Post of the Day Award for 2009 than Viola. The award could easily have been bestowed upon her for any of her posts.

But today, we honor New Year’s Wishes for You. The blogosphere is replete with posts focusing upon the transition from 2008 to 2009; reviews of the year just ended; lists of bloggers’ accomplishments, notable events, scandals, and milestones; resolutions and anti-resolutions; and, of course, wishes, blessings, and good wishes for the New Year.

But by far the most eloquent, comprehensive, and moving New Year’s blessing I read this year was composed by Viola. Therein, she wrote:

I wish for you a gentler embrace
if you have been too harsh
with yourself as well as others.
A kinder outlook of who and what you are in this world.
Recognition for the gifts and beauty
which lie within the center of your being.
Awareness of the futility and wasted energy
of comparing yourself to others;
placing them on too high of a pedestal,
yearning for their approval, and the fear of their disapproval.

I invite you to visit Spiritual Things Matter and spend some time perusing Viola’s writing. You will surely be enriched and inspired.

Technorati Tags: Post of the Day Award, Spiritual Things Matter, The Rising Bloggger, Viola Jaynes

Today she is receiving the Post of the Day Award for her recent article, The Tide of Codependency.

Although she writes a variety of different posts, I was not prepared for what appeared to be a confessional November 6, 2008 entry. It began:

I believe it’s called a co-dependent relationship.

And I know it’s not healthy.

But I knew what I was getting into, I knew that it was a relationship that was bound to be filled with setbacks and mess and obsession.

And now, I just don’t see any way out.

I kept reading out of a mixture of concern, compassion and unrepentent curiosity. Cleverly, Octamom provided more details about the nature of the unhealthy relationship in which she found herself enmeshed.

And then, of course, is the jealousy inherent in the relationship itself. If I decide to take a day for myself, to push aside the confines and insistence of this codependency, I return from my sojourn to find things worse off than when I left, . . .

Octamom's "loving husband," "father of the 8."

Jealousy? “Wow,” I thought to myself. “She is in a seriously dysfunctional relationship. I really hope she is going to be all right.” I sent good vibrations her way as I continued reading, willing her to find the strength to do what was necessary to assure her well-being.

And then, as I continued reading and scrolling down the page . . .

No, you’ll have to find out for yourself! All I am going to tell you is that Octamom is an inventive writer and you will enjoy not only the particular post honored today, but the rest of her entries, as well. Like me, you will want to subscribe so that you can stay up to date with Octamom and “the crew.”

Congratulations to Octamom for her spirit and talent. Perhaps, in addition to receiving the Post of the Day Award, she’ll score a promotional deal to help pay college tuition for all of the adorable Octachildren. (You’ll understand what I mean after you read The Tide of Codependency in its entirety.)

Technorati Tags: Octamom: The Musings of a Mother to a Multitude, Post of the Day Award, The Rising Blogger

Out of the many excellent takes, I have chosen one upon which to bestow the Post of the Day Award that is at the same time both profound and personal.

It concerns Reincarnation or, if you prefer, that feeling of “déjà vu.” In Reincarnation . . . Living Before, Ron shares a very personal take on past lives. He sums up his philosophy on the subject this way:

I believe that life is like attending school and the whole purpose of being here is to experience things that my soul has come to learn. And I also believe that it may not be possible to experience these things in one single lifetime.

How to explain feeling familiar and comfortable in a place where you have never traveled to? I haven’t personally experienced “déjà vu,” but it is quite uncanny to hear of stories like these.

All of this started for Ron when he left with an acting troop to perform for two months in Kobe, Japan.

Now Japan was not a place I ever had the desire to visit, nor was it a place I ever thought would hold any interest for me. But I accepted an acting job because I thought it would be something new to experience, and also because the salary was very attractive.

Enter Japanese stage left, American actor:

No matter how bad you may want to go to another country, there will always be some culture shock once there. It all depends on your character and your ability to adapt to new situations. After all, we are all the products of our culture. I should know; I’m a U.S. expat who has spent the past 18 years living in France.

But what happened to Ron is no less amazing. He did not get culture shock or freak out; he totally tuned into the country and its culture. And in a very deep way . . . tears, emotions and a feeling of what Ron calls “a deep connection.” So much so that when his plane was leaving Japan, he said to a good friend, “I feel like I’m leaving my home.”

I encourage you all to read this beautiful post.

Even if you personally do not believe in reincarnation, you can’t deny that something special happened to Ron in Japan.

It is with pleasure that I declare Reincarnation . . . Living Before the Post of the Day and wish Ron many more interesting takes on life to share with the world!

Barbara

Technorati Tags: Post of the Day Award, The Rising Blogger, Vent . . . a Series of Takes

Technorati Tags: BlogBlast for Peace, Mimi Writes

Today Vivienne receives the Post of the Day Award for her October 1, 2008, entry, Dying to Vote.  This time, she listened in on a conversation between two American teenagers who found “Beverly Hills 90210″ fascinating, but could not be bothered educating themselves about the United States’ current economic crisis or the latest developments in the Presidential race.  Vivienne encountered a couple of young girls who, in those and many other respects, were just quintessential American kids.

However, the conversation she listened in on took place in a salon while she was getting a pedicure, the one indulgence she will not give up despite the rough financial times.

I will not tell you more about Eavesdrop Writer Blog or, more particularly, Dying to Vote, because you must read Vivienne’s work yourself in order to appreciate the beauty of her straight-forward approach to storytelling and experience its impact.

Congratulations, Vivienne.  Keep eavesdropping because I am a loyal reader and look forward to more “imagination stimulation from overheard conversations for creative writers and curious readers.”

Technorati Tags: Eavesdrop Writer Blog, Post of the Day Award, The Rising Blogger

“Some men are born cool, some achieve cool, and some have cool thrust upon them.”

QuietusLeo, paraphrasing Shakespeare

In No, not that four letter word, the other one, QuietusLeo instructs that “doctors aren’t supposed to fear . . . anything. But fear is there. Sometimes it’s ‘normal,’ for example, fear of failure, fear of causing a patient pain, fear of losing a patient (all the more acute in the case of children), etc.” A healthy dose of fear or anxiety is appropriate, but in the extreme “can can be counterproductive and even dangerous - it paralyzes the mind when quick action is warrented, for example, during an emergency.”

QuietusLeo speaks from experience: He is an anesthesiologist and Advanced Cardiac Life Support instructor who teaches his students that doctors’ feelings of fear and anxiety must be controlled during, but examined and processed following a medical emergency.

Hubris, in medicine, is the original sin. The only thing that disgusts me more than incompetence in a physician is vanity. Hubris is born of fear. Fear of exposure, fear of failure and fear of showing weakness. When you see a vain person, scratch the surface (one may need an ice pick) and you will discover a coward. Not a coward in the sense of external bravery, but one who won’t face his/her own failings. Such a person has stopped growing, learning and improving. When that happens, our greatest fear, of harming our patients, is most likely.

QuietusLeo describes the approach he uses with his pupils, recounting an encounter with a young paramedic.

The Post of the Day Award is bestowed upon QuietusLeo because he No, not that four letter word, the other one grants laypersons a glimpse of the pressures and stressors that medical personnel face and must overcome as they respond to each unique medical emergency. As a mentor, he is providing invaluable advice and tutelage to up-and-coming physicians which, in turn, will improve the value of the services delivered to those individuals’ patients in the years to come.

Congratulations and thank you, QuietusLeo!

Technorati Tags: Post of the Day Award, The Rising Blogger, The Sandman

The team of writers at Life Without School consistently deliver well-written, thoughtful articles about all aspects of homeschooling reflecting their belief that “no matter how we come into this lifestyle, the purpose we most commonly share is reflected best by this one question: ‘What is right for my child?’ Life without school is not for all families or all children, but it is a valid and valued lifestyle choice for many.” They describe themselves as “real people living real lives without school. We share a common belief that life without school is a valid and valuable lifestyle choice.”

Missy with her son and Mickey

Unlike many people who strongly believe that one option — traditional school or homeschool — is superior and advocate for that approach, the writers declare that their site is “not a platform for school choice or educational choice or lifestyle choice other than life without school, although diversity of lifestyle is welcomed as a part of who we are and thus may be reflected in our postings.” In other words, their site is a breath of pure, fresh air — an oasis apart from the sometimes mean-spirited debates that rage at other sites.

The Post of the Day Award goes to Missy who, ironically, was a teacher before deciding to “deschool” her children, about which she also writes at her own site, caffeinated jive.

On September 8, 2008, she observed that Sometimes It’s Just a Shirt. Although, on its surface, the post is a reflection upon the manner in which homeschooling children and their families interact with and relate children who attend school, it is actually much more.

The post was inspired by a chance encounter.

We were at a swim meet last weekend, and a little boy, maybe five or six, was playing in the sandbox. His t-shirt said, “Homeschool Rocks!”

Cool, I thought. There are only a few homeschooling families in our swim league, and in the midst of an activity permeated by school culture, I was excited to find another family.

So I asked, “Hey, are you homeschooled?”

And he looked at me like I had five heads and said, “Nope.”

Oh.

“Ummm, okay. I just thought maybe since your t-shirt says something about homeschooling…”

“It’s just a shirt.” And he walked very quickly away from the crazy lady who reads t-shirts and actually, I dunno, believes they say something about the people wearing them.

After you read the rest of the article, you will see how Missy’s personal circumstances and experience provide the backdrop, but her message transcends those particulars.

We all seek constantly to fit in, be accepted, feel that we are part of something bigger than ourselves. We avoid alienation because of our uniqueness.

But in our struggle for identity, sometimes we over-analyze, over-think, and ascribe meaning to the trivialities of our daily lives that is inconsistent with reality.

As Missy teaches her readers, “sometimes a t-shirt is just a t-shirt.”

Congratulations, Missy!

Technorati Tags: Life Without School, Post of the Day Award, The Rising Blogger

Telling It Like It Is is one of my favorite blogs because Lin Burress does just that: She writes about topics that do or have impacted her on a personal level. And she is not afraid to tackle difficult subjects such as “friendship, marriage, divorce, children & teenagers, in-laws, elderly parents, blended families, abuse, abusive relationships, blogging, researching and learning more efficient ways of writing, journaling, the best ways of increasing readership, etc.” She puts a great deal of thought and effort into the articles she publishes, frequently providing links that afford readers an opportunity to perform further research themselves.

Lin Burress tells it like it is.

On August 11, 2008, she delved into a subject that struck a chord with me, as well as many other readers: Toxic Relationships - Toxic Family Members. And it is that post that has earned Lin the Post of the Day Award.

Every family has at least one member who is toxic because he/she drags other family members down and leaves them feeling “angry, worn out, deflated, belittled, ridiculed or confused.” But few people are willing to speak out about the manner in which that individual impacts family dynamics. Still fewer bloggers have written about the very real phenomenon.

Lin defines toxic people as “extremely negative, miserable, whiny, jealous, inconsiderate, financially irresponsible and entitled, manipulative, narcissistic, selfish, disrespectful, gossip mongers, mentally and emotionally abusive bullies who have no boundaries.” Toxic people usually suffer from extremely low self-confidence or self-esteem. Therefore, as Lin reminders her audience, their “toxicity has everything to do with them and nothing to do with you.” Still, that can be small comfort when you are being manipulated by someone with toxic characteristics.

Lin offers suggested coping mechanisms, acknowledging that, in extreme cases, it can become necessary to “physically and mentally distance yourself from the negative and toxic people in your life, which may or may not include cutting the person out of your life entirely.”

Lin asked her readers to share a personal story or ask a question about their own situation. The result is that the comments are as enlightening as the article itself, so make sure that you read them, along with Lin’s excellent article.

Congratulations, Lin, for your willingness to tackle “squirm-worthy” topics head-on, speaking the truth as you understand and perceive it. As you aptly point out, a cyberspace dialogue can often “touch the heart of someone having similar experiences or difficulties, [and reaffirm] how much easier it is when you know you are not alone.”

And congratulations on receiving the Post of the Day Award!

Technorati Tags: Post of the Day Award, Telling It Like It Is, The Rising Blogger

Kim, aka A Progressive Girl, knows from personal experience what it is like to survive a horrifying ordeal that you will never be able to forget. And on September 11 each year, many people reiterate the words “never forget” in order to honor those lost on that day and prevent such a tragedy from ever occurring again.

“I wonder,” she wrote on September 11, 2008, “for how many people that also means ‘We will never forgive.’ Yep, that is a hard one. I get the feeling some folks can’t even go there at all. I understand that. Some things are just so terrible it can make you feel like you want to carry that hate towards it forever. Like your hate is the only justice that it will ever meet.” However, Kim “realized over time that the hate I carried with me was now what crippled me . . . I had to find a way to forgive because that is the only way I would ever be free from [what happened to me].”

In Remembering, Kim expressed her hope that “as a nation,” the United States can find the same peace she has secured through forgiving those who were responsible for the events of September 11, 2001.

The Post of the Day Award goes to Kim today for her willingness to share details about her own personal struggle, as well as her insight into the process of healing oneself through forgiving those who have harmed you. Whether or not you are celebrating Rosh Hashanah, this is an excellent day to spend a few moments considering Kim’s words and outlook in order to assess your own feelings on the subject and, hopefully, arrive at a place of peace in your own heart.

Thank you and congratulations, Kim!

Technorati Tags: A World of Progress Progressive Thought Progressive Living, Post of the Day Award, The Rising Blogger